#1 Doing Rather Than Thinking
This first mistake is made by so many men, and it's mostly because it deals with the principles of male psychology. When men have problems, studies show that they look to find ways to solve them. Women on the other hand, would rather discuss how a troubling situation makes them feel. Obvious problems arise, then, when there is a difference in intention when approaching such issues. This means that when your lady is in trouble, guys should do their best to keep in touch with their emotions instead of just forging ahead with a plan.
This first mistake is made by so many men, and it's mostly because it deals with the principles of male psychology. When men have problems, studies show that they look to find ways to solve them. Women on the other hand, would rather discuss how a troubling situation makes them feel. Obvious problems arise, then, when there is a difference in intention when approaching such issues. This means that when your lady is in trouble, guys should do their best to keep in touch with their emotions instead of just forging ahead with a plan.
#2 Back Off The Truth About Proximity
When guys fall in love, their brains go absolutely haywire. So much so that many men make the mistake of smothering their girl of choice by wanting to be with them at all times. There are a few categorical dangers to this, so I will list them here.
When guys fall in love, their brains go absolutely haywire. So much so that many men make the mistake of smothering their girl of choice by wanting to be with them at all times. There are a few categorical dangers to this, so I will list them here.
She won't have time to miss you: There is some truth in the adage "absence makes the heart grow fonder" as long as you aren't away for weeks or more at a time. Having a day or two off or scaling back on some communication will make her miss you more. When she misses you, she will realize how much she cares about you and probably show you in new ways.
You lose out on other relationships: Many people in relationships tend to forget their platonic friends and family once they start dating. Isolation is never a healthy practice. Being around friends and others gives you both a little more time to breathe on your own and fill your life with love from more than one direction.
You lose out on other relationships: Many people in relationships tend to forget their platonic friends and family once they start dating. Isolation is never a healthy practice. Being around friends and others gives you both a little more time to breathe on your own and fill your life with love from more than one direction.
#3 Excessive Gift Giving AKA Every Day Is Christmas Syndrome
One erroneous way that men over-compensate for their love is through excessive giving of gifts. Sure, presents can be a great way to show somebody how much you care. Many of the best ones require lots of thought and planning, which shows a level of commitment to the relationship. However, if you do this too much, you start to send the wrong message. Even the hardest gold digger's true affections can't be bought.
One erroneous way that men over-compensate for their love is through excessive giving of gifts. Sure, presents can be a great way to show somebody how much you care. Many of the best ones require lots of thought and planning, which shows a level of commitment to the relationship. However, if you do this too much, you start to send the wrong message. Even the hardest gold digger's true affections can't be bought.
Giving too many gifts also cheapens something that could have been a seriously romantic gesture. If presents are an everyday thing, no gift will ever seem truly special. Therefore, the gifts that could have been a creator of love if given correctly could just as easily destroy those emotions when done excessively.
#4 Pickup Lines Do Not Pick Up Anyone
This tip is short and simple: do not try pickup lines on women at any time, ever. I know it looked awesome when Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson used them in 'Wedding Crashers,' but that's why the film is considered a work of fiction. Trust me when I say the gal of your dreams will not fall into your arms through the utterance of a single phrase. If she does, quite frankly, you may want to rethink that relationship.
This tip is short and simple: do not try pickup lines on women at any time, ever. I know it looked awesome when Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson used them in 'Wedding Crashers,' but that's why the film is considered a work of fiction. Trust me when I say the gal of your dreams will not fall into your arms through the utterance of a single phrase. If she does, quite frankly, you may want to rethink that relationship.
As the saying goes, just be yourself. If the girl doesn't like what she sees or hears, she will be sure to let you know. No catchy phrase is going to change that. In almost all cases, pickup lines should be a definite "no."
#5 She Is Out Of My League
There are plenty of guys that never get to the relationship stage due to a slew of horrible errors. This one happens to be the most common of such mistakes. When men look at women, oftentimes there is a tendency to focus on the physical. We frequently say "someone that beautiful could never love me," when the truth is, we honestly never really know. What human beings find attractive is a nearly random science, so there is no way to truly know what your chances are with someone. Sure, you may be able to ballpark, but can you really be completely certain? That answer is almost always "no." Men have let countless great women leave their lives because they thought she was too good for them.
There are plenty of guys that never get to the relationship stage due to a slew of horrible errors. This one happens to be the most common of such mistakes. When men look at women, oftentimes there is a tendency to focus on the physical. We frequently say "someone that beautiful could never love me," when the truth is, we honestly never really know. What human beings find attractive is a nearly random science, so there is no way to truly know what your chances are with someone. Sure, you may be able to ballpark, but can you really be completely certain? That answer is almost always "no." Men have let countless great women leave their lives because they thought she was too good for them.
#6 The Dangers Of Assumption
Other than "she's out of my league," a common mistake that many men make is to assume that a girl they like is taken based on the fact that she is good looking. For all you know, this lady could be newly single, or she could just have bad luck with finding guys right for her. If you can avoid assumption and actually find out the truth, you just might be the guy to turn that around for her.
A half-decent rule of thumb is, after talking to her for a few minutes, to say something like "your boyfriend is really lucky guy." If she is interested and single, she'll tell you she doesn't actually have a boyfriend. If she does have a boyfriend (or just wants you to think she does because she isn't interested), she'll let you know that, too. Problem solved.
#7 The Wonders Of Listening
When in a relationship, one of the most common phrases we hear is "you never listen to me," usually uttered by the woman. Listening is something that should be done by both parties, but by men especially. As previously mentioned, women are often more concerned with emotional response than anything else. Obviously this is a much more complicated and intricate concept, so understanding that crucial element requires a higher degree of listening. Once you understand what a woman is feeling, you have truly tapped into her heart. Many men make the mistake of ignoring those signals, and women feel ignored. As lame as it sounds, if you listen hard enough, you will hear how your lady's heart beats.
When in a relationship, one of the most common phrases we hear is "you never listen to me," usually uttered by the woman. Listening is something that should be done by both parties, but by men especially. As previously mentioned, women are often more concerned with emotional response than anything else. Obviously this is a much more complicated and intricate concept, so understanding that crucial element requires a higher degree of listening. Once you understand what a woman is feeling, you have truly tapped into her heart. Many men make the mistake of ignoring those signals, and women feel ignored. As lame as it sounds, if you listen hard enough, you will hear how your lady's heart beats.
#8 Being Too Nice A Tough Habit To Break
While I hate to admit it, there definitely seems to be some logistical truth behind the phrase "nice guys finish last." Sometimes the most caring of guys are often left in the dust simply because they care too much. How can caring too much be a bad thing? The central idea is that when courting a female, a girl always wants to feel like they are something "special" to the male in question. If you're the kind of guy that says hello and hugs every girl you see, how is your lady supposed to know that you love her the most? Obviously this doesn't mean you need to be obnoxious to others if you want the girl of your dreams, but you should try to create an emotional divide between like and love without going too overboard.
While I hate to admit it, there definitely seems to be some logistical truth behind the phrase "nice guys finish last." Sometimes the most caring of guys are often left in the dust simply because they care too much. How can caring too much be a bad thing? The central idea is that when courting a female, a girl always wants to feel like they are something "special" to the male in question. If you're the kind of guy that says hello and hugs every girl you see, how is your lady supposed to know that you love her the most? Obviously this doesn't mean you need to be obnoxious to others if you want the girl of your dreams, but you should try to create an emotional divide between like and love without going too overboard.
#9 Best Friends Forever Means Relationship Never
As men, we have all heard of the ever-elusive "friend zone." It is a place that no man shall pass if they intend to court a woman, yet it's a known trap that many of us fall into. Being too much of a friend is somewhat similar to being the "nice guy," but there are some important distinctions.
As men, we have all heard of the ever-elusive "friend zone." It is a place that no man shall pass if they intend to court a woman, yet it's a known trap that many of us fall into. Being too much of a friend is somewhat similar to being the "nice guy," but there are some important distinctions.
A friend tends to make too strong an effort to get involved in the personal life of the one he loves far too quickly. When men offer too much of themselves emotionally too quickly, they instead become "that guy who she can talk to." While that may be a good thing in some cases, if enough time passes you may become the person in her life that she "won't want to lose" to a relationship. Women do want to get to know their men, just be sure to do so gradually to avoid the friend zone.
#10 Players Never Win
Aside from the "nice guy" or "friend," we also have the other end of the spectrum. Some guys tend to over-compensate for those previous issues by seeming too aloof and untouchable. It is true that females like a man with confidence, but the reality is nobody likes a jerk, either. While there is certainly no need to over-shower a girl with affection, by the same token, there is also no need to put her down.
Just like many things on this list it is a matter of striking a balance. At the end of the day, women want someone they can connect with, and they can't do that if they think you are too good for them (more commonly, you think you are too good for them). If you show no vulnerability, you will never be able to let her in. Human connection is what relationships are all about.
Unless, of course, you want a girl with daddy-issues who will make your life a living hell. Then be my guest and douche it up.
Via: cupoflols.com
Via: cupoflols.com
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