The Six Habits We Wish Women Left Behind In 2013

The Retros*xual would wish to have a positive year in 2014. Reason is I was negative in 2013 for which I was called names and my enviable IQ questioned. I ask God for a positive 2014-which won't be possible unless women leave skirt certain habits behind.

I asked a panel of men with functioning grey cells upstairs what they would wish women left behind in 2013. Here are their considered thoughts with their exact wording censored.
First, kindly stop leaving your G-strings in our bathrooms when you come over, carrying those large 'fornication bags.'
One bachelor brother was forced to label toothbrushes to avoid confusion, you know. He even has a special box where he throws their thingamajigs. Leave stuff when it is absolutely necessary even if you have to mark your territories to wad off competition.
We know there are more women to men in Nigeria, but this territory marking strategy went out of fashion in a long time ago.

Secondly, insist that your men use condoms. Most men want an easy ride and many women won't even raise a finger.
Make it your responsibility to remind men to rubber it up when rocking the mound of Venus. It is the right thing, right?

Third, stop dining and wining with a man in full knowledge it's a zero sum game in the loin department since 'friend-zone' is where you have slotted the poor dude.
When a man asks for a date, just know the generosity is not for charity. Make it clear from the first sip of the pricey wine whose name you can't pronounce that you are hitched or you have 'chilled' and not necessarily for the Messiah's return!
When called to duty, stop drawing conclusions that men are dogs.

Forth, learn the meaning of the phrase 'going Dutch'. We are aware that a considerable number of you pay or share bills, but we ask that more women stop playing dead possum or taking to the small room for a powder session when the bill arrives.
Surprise us once in a while. No man has been reported to have died because a woman picked the tab.

The fifth point is reserved for the beautiful woman who thinks every man wants to hit the sack with her. You are not that hot by the way.
Drop your insecurity. Sometimes all a man wants is a candid chat or some innocent flirting. Go with the flow and experience life. Finally, if you're turning 30, adjust your wardrobe and mannerisms to suit the '0.' Here is to a better and more productive 2014 folks.

OCB cares!