Watching Your Wife Give Birth Could Kill Your Libido

 

Before now, men hardly ventured near the labour room. Then, the farthest men could go was the passageway leading to the labour room. They could be pacing up and down the passage, trying to peep or eavesdrop through the door, but going into the labour room was not common.

Men then were prevented from hearing the cries of pain of their wives and would rather be sent on errands all in a bid to shut them out of the labour process.

But now, the presence of men in the labour room is almost becoming a symbol of love. To many women these days, childbirth is painful and the man’s presence in the labour room is like a reassurance that the couple are in it together. Some men also believe watching their wives delivered of their babies is aside being seen as emotional contributions and support, a proof of love. However, as fashionable and contemporary as it is now, some medical experts have warned that men witnessing their wives having babies are more likely to have reduced sexual drive, also known as libido. A French obstetrician, Dr. Michel Odent, said men should stay out of the delivery room so as to continue to have a healthy sex life with the woman. He explained that men have always seen the vagina as a sex organ and that they may find it uninteresting if the same organ is being used for non-sexual activity. Thus, staying away from the labour room would invariably help the man’s sexual life. “The sexual risk is that men will not be able to remain sexually attracted to a woman after seeing her vagina used for non sexy jobs, like childbirth,” he said. n a survey by Netmums, a parenting website, it was revealed that couples make love less than they did before they had children. The survey noted that witnessing the trauma of childbirth, coupled with the toll it takes on the woman’s body could have a devastating impact on a man and his approach to sex. According to some scientists, in spite of the fact that it takes some time for a woman to get her sex drive back after childbirth, the trauma men have and their thought about what happened during the delivery if they were there, especially seeing how big the vagina could be, could reduce sexual activity between the couple because the man might feel irritated. Odent shared his experience with Daily Mail. The medical expert who said he had been involved in childbirth for 50 years in hospitals in United Kingdom and France, also pointed out that apart from the reduced sexual drive, men witnessing childbirth could slow down labour and that the trauma of watching such a woman could trigger a type of post-natal depression in men.

He said, “Having been involved in childbirth for 50 years, and having been in charge of 15,000 births with the father’s presence or absence, I have reached a conclusion that there is little good for a couple’s sexual life in having a man at the birth of a child.

“When men first started standing at their partner’s side during labour, I remember my mother’s generation saying that the couple’s intimate life would be ruined as a result.

“And, given that the key to eroticism is a degree of mystery, I am left believing they had a point. There are many things we do in private in order to preserve a degree of modesty and mystery. And, for the benefit of our sex lives, it may be worth adding childbirth to this list.

“Of course, this is not the case for all men, but it seems without doubt that some men are at risk of being unwell or depressed due to having seen their partners labour.

“Also, for the woman, his presence is a hindrance, and a significant factor in why labours are longer, more painful and more likely to result in intervention than ever. I have noticed that the more the man participates in the birth process, the worse his wife’s labour has been and the higher the risks of post-natal symptoms are.”

Findings show that men are not always pleased with the changes that happen to some women’s body, such as scars from Caesarean, for those who had it, saggy stomachs, increased nipple size, sagging breasts, and the thought of seeing the woman’s expanded sexual organ.

According to Odent, other reasons why men should not be present in the labour room include the fact that a woman in labour needs to be in a private world, whereas a word of advice or encouragement from the man could draw her out of the quiet moment that she needs to focus.

He said, “A labouring woman needs to be protected against any stimulation of the thinking part of her brain – the neocortex – for labour to proceed with any degree of ease. This part of the brain needs to take the back seat and allow the primal ‘unthinking’ part of the brain connected to basic vital functions to take over.

“She needs to be in a private world where she doesn’t have to think or talk. Yet, motivated by a desire to share the experience, the man asks questions and offers words of reassurance and advice. In doing so, he denies his partner the quiet mind that she needs.

“The second reason is that the father’s release of the stress hormone adrenaline as he watches his partner labour causes her anxiety, and prevents her from relaxing. And the release of adrenaline is contagious. This is apart from some men being aggressive.

“It has been proven that it is physically impossible to be in a complete state of relaxation if there is an individual standing next to you who is tense and full of adrenaline.